Jill Scott Defines ‘Dickmatized’
Light of the Sun singer Jill Scott sat down with Sister 2 Sister Magazine to talk about celibacy and being “dickmatized.” Keep reading for the definition:
What exactly is “dickmatized”?
“Where you get caught up in the whole sexuality of your relationship but it’s not going anywhere… Just somebody giving you the goods but not necessarily giving you the rest—or not expecting the rest from them. What I’ve discovered is, although it may be a lot of fun, it is also a waste of time and you might be blocking your blessing—blocking somebody who wants to be more to you than just a great time in your life.
How did you become un-dickmatized?
“Just realizing what I have to offer. I’m so much more than my flesh!” .
She also interviewed with Us Magazine, touching on the same subject and discussing her album subject matter as well:
Us: Are you still celibate after your breakup?
JS: Now the minimum is until the fifth date. The whole celibacy thing, you could throw that out the window. That’s over. But I don’t have physical intimacy until at least the fifth date. So I can get to know who I’m dealing with and they can get to know me. And with my schedule, five dates can take three or four months! It just gives me a chance to get to know the person. So we talk on the phone pretty much every day or maybe we Skype or have a date and we have fun. I’m getting to know someone so I know if they’re crazy or not. I just don’t want to waste my time. I’m just trying to look at the mistakes that I made. I got so caught up in the flesh and I’m not even allowing someone to get to know the best parts of me. I’m a single girl in the world, but if I don’t have some standards then I can be making the same mistakes that I made in the past. I do want love. Genuine love. And sometimes sex can get in the way.
Us: The album is incredible. What were you going for with it?
Jill Scott: There’s been a lot of creative inspirations. I love old school hip-hop. It just feels good to me so I went back. This record is really about play — some of the music is hip-hop driven, some of it is jazz, some of it is both. It’s a lot of stuff, but I’m a lot of woman — with a lot of inspirations coming at me all the time. I want to reach inside of myself. Nobody else is writing my music.
Us: How did having Jett inform and influence your music?
JS: There’s something about having a child. I don’t know, maybe the 36 hours of labor? It just gave me a new appreciation for my self and my femininity. And my strength, you know, I think that’s what it was. I walked into recording this record and wanted to be strong and free and even strong in my vulnerability. It’s something about having a baby — I’ve been calling it lava in my spine. It’s given me some fearlessness and I’m really enjoying how I feel. It’s almost like my first record. I’m not worried about who’s going to like it and who’s not. I’m being all of me, and it feels stupendous. I don’t want to leave this feeling.
Us: You sing about Jett and his father explicitly on the CD.
JS: There’s definitely some stories about heartbreak and trying to move past that. When you’re getting lost in the flesh and something I call being victimized, you just get lost in the whole sexual experience of it all. I talk about knowing one person is not necessarily for your benefit and its just a sexual relationship. I try to empower women. There’s power in your curves, there’s power in your mind, there’s power in the whole being. My goal is to continue being a whole person. I’m more than my physical form and I’m enjoying my physical form but I’m more than that.
Divas can definitely relate to everything Jill is saying. Sex is great, but it tends to complicate things as well.
Read her entire interview with Us Magazine here.